Look, I am not a saint. Far from it, actually. I have done one too many stupid, selfish, crazy things in the past. Maybe now, I am turning on a new life because I am trying to make amends? But based on my track record, it looks like I would need a lot more ‘making up’ time. But it’s okay. No rush, right? ANYHOW, well, I saw this particular piece from a fellow student’s website and personally, I think it’s amazing. Read this everyday (or when you are feeling being especially mean and rotten.) I just want to share. Maybe, you’ll like it. If you think it’s too goody-goody just forget you read it. I am not the preachy type anyway. But if you find it useful, then COOL!

WHAT WILL MATTER/BY MICHAEL JOSEPHSON
5/9/2008 11:00:06 AM

Ready or not, someday it will all come to an end.

There will be no more sunrises, no minutes, hours or days.

All the things you collected, whether treasured or forgotten, will pass to someone else.

Your wealth, fame and temporal power will

shrivel to irrelevance.

It will not matter what you owned, or what

you were owed.

Your grudges, resentments, frustrations, and jealousies

will finally disappear.

So, too, your hopes, ambitions, plans and to-do lists

will expire.

The wins and losses that once seemed so important,

will fade away.

It won’t matter where you came from, or on what side

of the tracks you lived, at the end.

It won’t matter whether you were beautiful or brilliant.

Even your gender and skin color will be irrelevant.

So what will matter?

How will the value of your days be measured?

What will matter is not what you bought, but what

you built; not what you got, but what you gave!

What will matter is not your success, but how hard

you tried.

What will matter is not what you learned,

but what you taught.

What will matter is every act of integrity,

compassion, courage or sacrifice that

enriched, empowered or encouraged others to emulate your example.

What will matter is not your competence,

but your character.

What will matter is not how many people you

knew, but how many will feel a lasting loss when you’re gone.

What will matter is not your memories,

but the memories that live in those

who loved you.

What will matter is how long you will be

remembered, by whom and for what.

Living a life that matters doesn’t happen by

accident.

It’s not a matter of chance, but of choice.

Choose to live a life that matters

___________________________________________

Talent is God given. Be humble. Fame is man-given. Be
grateful. Conceit is self-given. Be careful. ~John
Woode

I was at a crossroads with nowhere to go. I was working at the last place on Earth I wanted to be in, I was right smack in the middle of a romance gone awry (which was my fault anyway), and I was at a period of grieving after realizing that my dream ( which I worked very hard for) would not become a reality.

I have a habit of overdramatizing things, and well, I guess, I do. It is pretty funny anyway. Well, that and going into tangents. But going back, yes, I was in a bad place that time. And then I received the news- that I got in the law school I wanted, that which I never thought in my wildest dreams that I had the chance to get in. I did not even stress a bit about the whole application process (which was pretty grueling), because I thought, it was such a long shot. I went on with doing the mundane things I was doing- partying, drinking, and working for that other dream of mine that I lost.

Then my mom called me while I was at work babbling incoherently with excitement that I did get to the law school I wanted. I did not even bother to get the results myself, I even forgot about it for a while. Wow. Why was God being nice to me amidst all the ______________ that I have done?

And so I cleaned up. Stopped all my vices. Law school, with all my teachers who are really good good people and reading mounds and mounds of cases- of what people have been going through, they all made me want to be a better person. I lost a sense of myself when I did not get what I wanted, and it almost destroyed me. Now, I remember who I was before all the brouhaha. I am nice generally, but if you step over the line of what I consider decent and respectful, well, I will have no qualms to tell and/or make you feel so. I became a pushover before, but I remembered, that is really not me.

So here I am. A struggling law student. I don’t look like your prototype student though. People say I stand out like a sore thumb because of the way I look, dress, talk. They tell me I look lost in such a serious, academic environment. Some even ask me if I really studied (while I was in the bathroom putting on lipstick after my three hour session at the library). There are even those who made remarks that seemed at that time, were imbued with underlying questions showing doubt on my intelligence ( by way of them imitating my OH-MY-GOD expression complete with the hand action). They even say that I am Elle Woods in flesh.But SO WHAT?! I take them all in stride. Though I may not be the smartest one in there, I know myself and what I can do. And I will never apologize for who I am.

To quote one of my really good friends in school, Emil: ” The myth of pretty girls not being smart has been officially been disproved by Legally Blonde.” Hahaha. I could almost hear you thinking, who does she think she is? ANYHOW, I don’t think I am pretty, I just like make-up, clothes, and grooming myself. And Legally Blonde is hardly the authority on the matter. But got your attention there right? It was a joke! It has totally no point. Laugh. This is getting too serious and boring anyway.

But for purposes of wrapping this up properly, yes, law school changed me in some ways, but there are still some things about me that would remain. And that includes my vanity. Haha. But ultimately, taking those two together, they saved me from becoming someone I did not want and was not proud to be. I like who I am now, which is the real me, before the disaster that came in my life. And I am glad.